I’m no knight in shining armor; I owe my allegiance to no king, and armor would only serve to slow me down. I am not a hero (although I will raise no objections if the label is given to me), and I did not come to rescue any princess, although if she does not slow me down, I am willing to escort her back to town. My motivation does not lie in fame, nor in honor, but in the contents of your treasury.

So while you are dying, just know that it is not because you kidnapped the princess, but because you were up past your bedtime.