You and your family are guests on Family Feud. You are going up against the Bannisters, some of the weirdest-looking inbred white people you've seen in your entire life. You step up to the podium for the buzz-off. Joe Bannister, the head of the Bannister Family, approaches his buzzer. Steve Harvey stands between you. "Hey Joe," you say. "I'm here to play my game". "You're a funny guy," he says. "What's your game?" "My game is I'm going to beat you as badly as I can". > Joe and you get ready for the first question from steve. "How do you feel about gay marriage?" Steve asks. > You tell Steve what you think about gay marriage. Steve looks at you like you just told him that you hate Jews. "That's not a good answer", he says. "I don't care if it's legal or not. It's still wrong". You look at him like he's crazy. Steve continues. > You listen as Joe answers the question on gay marriage. "Gay marriage is fine with me, but I don't want to be forced into something I don't want to do". Steve laughs. "Well, I don't know if that's true, but it sounds like you're saying it is". > You think Joe and Steve are setting this game up. You think there is no possible way to win this game. "Steve, what do you think about gay marriage.". Steve thinks for a moment. "I don't know anything about gay marriage, but I'm sure if it was legal, people would use it as an excuse to cheat on their wives". "I don't want to hear any more about cheating". > You nod your head. Steve moves on to the next question. "What's the best thing about being gay?" You think about it. "It means I don't have to worry about getting married and having kids". Steve smiles. "That's great, but how come you didn't marry a girl when you were younger?" > You tell steve you thought this was a hypothetical questions. "I aint gay" you shout. You are so mad you don't even answer the next question. "What's the worst thing about being gay?" You think about it. "Being called a fag all the time by other guys". Steve smiles. > You say "but still. I Aint Gay. Joe, are you gay?" Joe looks at you like you're insane. Steve looks at you like you're a little kid. Joe continues. "No, I'm not gay. I'm bi". Steve looks at you like you're retarded. Joe continues. "I mean I'm attracted to both men and women. I just prefer men, because they're stronger, better fighters, better fathers and generally better than women". You think Joe is trying to make a joke. Joe continues. "But I digress". > You are ready for this to be over. Steve says. "So you're gay. What's your name?" "Joe Bannister" "What's your real name?" "Joe Bannister" "Do you have a girlfriend?" "Yes, my name is Susan Bannister". > You ask Susan if she knew Joe was gay. She says she did, but she didn't care. Steve says. "What's the big deal? He's just a guy. I mean, he's got a nice body too". You look at Steve like he's nuts. Joe continues. > You ask Steve if he has a wife and if she knew he was gay. He says he doesn't, but he does have a daughter who is very much into girls. You look at Steve like he's a nut. Joe continues. You look at Joe like he's crazy. Joe continues. "Susan is my wife". > You ask steve and Joe if they like your body. They both look at you like you're crazy. Joe continues. You ask Steve if he likes your body. He looks at you like you're retarded. Steve says. > You listen as Steve explains why you are so ugly. "It's just your face. It isn't right.", says Joe. You look at Steve like he's a nut. Steve continues. You ask Joe if he ever had sex with a man. He says no. You look at Steve like he's a nut. Joe continues. > You are so angry. You pull out a gun and start shooting in every direction. You shoot Joe in the back and then shoot Steve in the chest. Steve falls backwards, and you continue shooting everyone else in the room. You run out of the house and jump into the car. You drive off. The police arrive shortly after and take you away. > You see the room go black. You suddenly awaken. You are sitting on your couch next to your sister. "Greg are you listening to me?!" she says. "Yeah, I'm here, but I can't talk right now, I'm sorry!" You sit up and try to remember everything that happened last night. You remember nothing. You look around the room and realize you are naked. You also realize that you are alone. > You see that the room is padded and white. You try to remember, but nothing comes to mind. You begin to panic. You begin to cry.Permalink